“My Derinsola cannot even think of it. Marry someone that is not Yoruba, Ko je ṣe iru e.”
I was sitting on the brown leather settee in my friend’s house enjoying my glass of orange juice when I heard her mother say this to someone on the phone. Little me thought it was a joke but my inquisitive side made me do something I hardly do so I can understand what was really happening, I listened in on the conversation.
My friend’s mum was really serious about her daughter not marrying someone who isn’t Yoruba. She came to meet us in the living room and repeated the same thing she said over 100 times on the phone,
“Derin better don’t marry anyone that is not Yoruba”.
I was just laughing, thinking what if this woman knows Derin is dating a Calabar man that she is pretty serious about. Will she stop her daughter from marrying him when they get to that point or will Derin have to end her relationship with him just because he is not Yoruba? My friend Derin’s dilemma has inspired me to do a short story on her situation and also inspired this post.
The entire scenario was funny at first, but it made me think of my own situation.
No one in my family has said anything about the tribe my future husband should be from, yet. So I am not under the same pressure like my friend. But the situation has made me realise one thing, I am hardly fascinated by Yoruba boys. I have met a lot of them but I have only taken a second look at only 5% of the ones I have met. I guess a major reason for that is based on the “Yoruba Demon” persona a number of them have decided to wear.
I wonder why Yoruba men find joy in the idea that they are being called demons, their agbada is starched to a fault with the tears and broken hearts of numerous girls. They claim they are romantic but yet they are romantic to other girls too.
I have a lot of male Yoruba friends and I also have siblings and cousins, and one thing a lot of them have in common is their sugar-coated mouths. Chai if my brother, sweet talks me when he wants something, it can melt Olumo rock sef. And that is just my brother.
There is one thing I won’t take from them, Yoruba boys have family values and are respectful. This is another reason why girls try to overlook their “demonic” ways and just stay with them. Introduce them to your mother and they will charm her, no doubt about that. But why ruin all that by being heartbreakers?
This is one thing I read on the internet recently. Really so just because you are a Yoruba man, you much cheat? The truth is a lot of women will find you attractive in your starched agbada, even I find you men attractive, but why lead them on just to break their hearts?
I still won’t understand why the same social media that talks bad about them, is still teaching men how to be Yoruba demons?
You don’t have to be Yoruba to be called a Yoruba demon, Every heartless, cheating, lying person, usually male can be called a Yoruba demon. But I must admit, it is rampant among men from the Yoruba tribe.
Not all Yoruba men are demons but if the current ones refuse to grow up and start acting mature and drop this “demon” persona, every Yoruba man will be seen as a demon in a few years time. I am still looking for my Yoruba prince, so, I am not saying I can’t marry a Yoruba man, but if the trend continues like this I won’t be surprised if I end up changing my last name to something far from Yoruba or even Nigerian.