Lagos big boy or Yoruba** Demon; to me, they are one and the same, contrary to popular opinion, any guy can be a Yoruba Demon. **Yoruba: (adj) Yoruba, as used here, does not refer to the tribe. The Term ‘Yoruba’ describes a heartless, cheating, lying person. Usually male could also be from the tribe Yoruba, just saying.
According to the urban dictionary, a YORUBA DEMON is a Nigerian guy (Yoruba) who goes after a young lady’s heart with no intention of loving her. They are typically met at parties, and would mostly wear white or black traditional attire. They sometimes are seen in groups. “LEGION; for we are many”, due to the increasing number of these new species it has become pretty easy to spot and identify them even if they are separated from their PACK.
Dating a Yoruba demon has its perks; the expensive trips, the unexpected gifts and what not’s but once you identify the demon in him dust your slippers and run preferably just before he hits the G, but if you realize a little too late that you are, in fact, dating a Yoruba demon, I thought I’d share some tips on how to leave him behind and get on with your glorious existence. This post is solely dedicated to breaking a Yoruba demons heart before he disintegrates yours. NOTE, this battle is not for the weak and feeble minded so gear up ladies it’s going to be a bumpy ride and if you don’t have the “MIND” – keep it moving baby
Do it in public
Trust me you don’t want to be sitting on a couch in his fine house nursing a glass of wine with your shoes off and taking in his “oh so wonderful” manly smell you would, first of all, forget your purpose in life and your mission will be ruined. So to avoid regrets later when he drives you home in his Benz, you might want to do it over lunch in PUBLIC! and have your Uber ready to move.
GO IN FOR THE KILL LADIES!
It’s easier to take no shit if you’re dressed to kill. Wear your favourite outfit, wing your eyeliner, put on your funkiest lipstick. Walk like royalty, and talk like someone who knows they’re worth so much more than what they’ve been given trust me you want to leave a lasting memory something he would not forget in a hurry, something he would take to his next “henchmen” meeting.
Don’t play the blame Game.
It doesn’t matter whose “fault” it is that the relationship is ending. If you say it’s his, he’ll be offended. If you say it’s yours, you’ll feel guilty or he’ll try to convince you-you don’t need to break up. The best you can hope for is a mutual acceptance that the relationship has ended, without trying to point the finger at each other.
Don’t Let Him Change Your Mind
The structure that shit like an essay if you have to. Think through your reasons, and be ready to present them in an articulate, no-nonsense manner. He might try and convince you to stay in the relationship with that deep voice, killer smile and full pink lower lip, DO NOT compromise your mission ladies I REPEAT! DO NOT! If he tries…Shoot. Him. DOWN. If he doesn’t get the memo, beat it into him (verbally. Not literally).
The Foodie kit
For my fellow foodies, this is what you’ll do; you walk into the nearest supermarket with the last ounce of strength you can muster, grab your shopping trolley and head to the junk food aisle. A tub of ice cream, this is therapeutic, Malteasers because at some point you are going to idly throw stuff in your mouth while thinking about what an ass hole he is!, A big bar of your best chocolate, A bottle of baileys, because at some point you are going to wanna just numb the pain and fall asleep, Misery is exhausting.Sweet and sour candy, Something that will tingle your senses and make you come alive when you feel like the walking dead! because you will trust me, Cake Because cake makes life easier to bear! and you need to celebrate your strength.
Breaking up with a Yoruba demon might not be this easy because of these men, They are mighty fine, dressed to the nines with their killer smiles and dripping sophistication. Every woman’s dream except that this particularly sexy dream ends in a nightmare worthy of serious spiritual warfare.
Yet every Saturday a Yoruba demon ties the knot!
So how do you catch these sly, slippery demons and make an honest man out of one of them? leave me your thoughts in the comment section until next time, stay safe ladies!