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Don’t Lose Yourself Loving Someone Else


A few weeks ago, I posted something on my Facebook wall, it was an issue that had been on my mind for a while, and I just had to put it up. To have it, the Facebook community literally crucified me for the post. I was really surprised that a lot of people had something to say about it.

I had more comments from that post than I had in my entire Facebook post in the last two years combined. I don’t regret posting it because I was only giving my opinion to a very serious matter. Something I have noticed affects a lot of women, and they simply don’t realise it. I may also be crucified here for going in depth about it, but its just my opinion and I believe we are all entitled to it.

I have come to realise that most women lose themselves all in the name of being “Mrs somebody”. I read something once, that talked about how a lot of women go into relationships so they won’t be lonely, instead, they loose themselves in the process. Don’t get me wrong, I understand relationship are all bout compromises, but you shouldn’t lose what makes you, you because of a partner.

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I started this talking about women, but it applies to both sexes, as there have been cases of men who can’t identify themselves all just because they want to be with someone.

I could remember a few years ago, one of my older friends used to talk about how she will never lose some vital things about herself for any man. I used to laugh at all she said then because they were so funny, but as I got older I realised what she said was very correct. We shouldn’t loose ourselves loving someone else. It will only make us feel empty in the long run.

Unfortunately, this friend of mine did lose herself because of a man she thought was worth it. Now she is bored in her marriage, despises her husband and feels like she is in a prison and needs to find a way out. I won’t be surprised if she tells me she is leaving her husband soon.

Now whats the point of going into a relationship, losing you because of it, and later feeling empty and disgusted by your actions. It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

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Loneliness should not make you just jump into any relationship, you might just end up still being lonely with that person.

If you are with someone who doesn’t share the same interest with you, instead of expressing to him/her how discontent you feel with them, you lie to them that you are so happy in the relationship. You can only wear a disguise for so long before your true self begins to fight for air to breathe. Don’t bring suffering to yourself and others by denying your heart the things it so desperately requires to be satisfied. It is better you find someone who wants the same things as you, and won’t expect you to lose yourself because of love.

Don’t be naïve and make crucial decisions based on your relationship, if not you’ll lose your dreams and yourself because of your partner. You need to realise that if you both love yourselves truly and are on the same page , your partner will support your decision. You should also realise that true love will survive any condition, any distance and all obstacles. You should never have to sacrifice your hopes, dreams, or passions to sustain a relationship and any person who loves you will never ask you to.

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If you are not careful you can also lose your friends because of your partner. You can be the person who can’t be with your friends because you’re so consumed with your partner to the point where it’s as if you’re not even there. You shouldn’t be making every conversation about your love life. You had a life before you met your partner, learn to balance both.

A partner that truly loves you will learn to understand you and love you for you. He/she won’t expect you to be someone else because of them, they will appreciate you for your uniqueness and will love you more because you stick to who you are.

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