Daughter to Mother relationships are supposed to be the best kind of family relationships, Unfortunately, they are laden with lots of drama .
Do you remember how you felt about your mum when you were a teenager? she was your worst enemy.You thought she was here to make your life hell, you’d always feel that she didn’t understand how you felt,you’d think she deliberately made your life miserable,now when you look back,she is the best thing that has ever happened to you.You even appreciate her more.
You might have had irreconcilable differences with you mum or your attitude has caused irreparable damage between you and you just don’t know how to fix things up, here are a few things,i think you should do to maintain and or build a balanced relationship with your mum.
1.Understand that mother to daughter relationships are sacred and treat it as such.You will never have another biological mother.She can have other children,but she will always be your mum.You can have foster mums or even step mums but your mum will always be your mum.When you treat your relationship with her as such,you will unconsciously grow love and respect for her and this will in turn show up in your attitude and speech when you are around her.Make no mistake that when she starts to see these changes, her will, mindset,attitude will change around you too and you guys will mend fences.
2.Have conversations. If you hold a grudge for your mum,sit down with her and have a conversation.Tell her how you feel,listen to her,apologize to her and fix it.If you have no grudge against her,intentionally plan meetings or phone calls so you can have conversations,talk to her listen to her,don’t shut her up,allow her express how she feels about certain topics or issues that concern you,your family,your marriage,any part of your life at all. It is okay if you don’t think her opinions will work out for you, politely say so and give her reasons why you wont accept her advice. Don’t make her feel like an outsider because you don not share the same views with her.Let her know that her opinions count.
3.Move forward. Stop thinking about the mistakes of the past.she might have hurt you bitterly or have given you reason to doubt her love for you over and over and over again.when you follow the steps listed above,forget the past and move forward.No one goes forward looking behind.Create a new platform entirely with her,make her know that you love her an you are ready to move forward. This also applies to those who have a balanced relationship already but want it to grow. Forget about the past and forge ahead.
There is a difference between Mother daughter drama and a toxic mother daughter relationship.If you have a toxic relationship with your
mother,please cut her off. The above points have nothing to do with you.
When i talk of toxic i refer to situations where your mother was your pimp,or has given you advice over the years that has ruined your life.She is still your mother,no doubt about that but you need to be careful when taking advice from her.
Mother daughter relationships should be treasured.I personally love my mum so much,she is my best friend and today is her birthday.
I just want to celebrate what we have and to help others get to that point.
It’s Monday,bring your A game.
Enjoy your week and have fun.
How is your relationship with your mum?please share in the comment section.