Here I was trying to mind my business this New Year, but you people know my mouth and opinions will sometimes get me in trouble. I was on social media recently and I saw the story of a man whose girlfriend of 5 years recently left him while he was about to propose. A lot of people felt sorry for him including miss drama queen here and they were quite vocal about how they felt about the situation.
Now one thing that got me was what some of his colleagues in the Association of Men took the individual’s reaction to the breakup. Baba was really devastated that the person he thought was his soul mate left him and was very emotional about it. And I am talking about the fact that this guy cried and was probably depressed because of the situation.
What will other men say?
You should not be crying because of a b**ch. You are a man.
The H*e did not deserve you. Tears are for sissy’s not men.
Truth is, I was not really surprised with what I read, but I just had to voice my opinion: Fake masculinity will not make some men run mad oo.
What is wrong with the guy being emotional about a painful breakup? He was planning to spend the rest of his life with this woman. He has the right to cry and be vocal about how emotional he is.
But really why is that it’s only women society feels should be depressed after a breakup. A woman can cry and be emotional about a breakup and society feels it’s normal.
Women know when it’s sad, they understand how to deal with being sad, and they cry it out of them. Their ability to handle sh*t like that versus a guy…guys just deny, deny, deny, and they hold onto to the sh*t, till it breaks them.
Statistics show that men find it harder to deal with breakups and I’ll say it’s because of the concept of masculinity.
Men don’t have a clue on how to deal with a break-up or loss in a socially acceptable manner. They are expected to just accept it and deal with it like a man. Sorry please, how is a man supposed to deal with pain?
When he loses a loved one, he is expected to deal with it like a man. Why can’t he cry like women? He also has the same feelings they have.
Men are constantly told that losing themselves in their emotions is an emasculating act. This ideology has been instilled in them from the moment they bruise their knees as kids. I can remember my aunt once telling my six-year-old cousin that he shouldn’t be crying that he is a man. I mean he is only six, how do you expect a six-year-old to deal with his emotions?
This message is literally shoved down men’s throats throughout their formative years and by the time they are adults, they become experts on managing their emotions in the unhealthiest way possible.
Imagine this male proverb: “The best way to get over a woman is by getting under a new one.”
Like seriously, this is really unhealthy. Rather than heal their broken hearts, men adopt and rely on new women, old habits, excessive liquor or weed, and a constant strain of pushing the pain away by just forcing it down somewhere deep where it will only fester and grow.
I hope in 2017 that men will be able to deal with their emotions and boys will learn and understand the healthy way to deal with their emotions. We need to create more men who are secure enough in their masculinity to reap the benefits of being emotionally balanced and fulfilled human beings.